We meet with the Bride and Groom well in advance of the ceremony date in order to get to know you and to talk about the ceremony. This is important not only in an interfaith wedding ceremony but in Jewish ceremony as well. During the meeting we explore together your ideas and wishes regarding the wedding ceremony. In the case of an interfaith wedding ceremony, we talk about ways to incorporate the different traditions of the Bride and the Groom in order to create the kind of beautiful ceremony which will characterize both traditions. A variety of Jewish and Christian traditions and customs are discussed in order to give you a broad idea of what can be a part of your ceremony. We talk about vows, poems, or any heartfelt words you may wish to say to each other during the ceremony. We then put together the wedding ceremony in a way which will be very meaningful and memorable to you and your families. You are encouraged to discuss any other issues you may have regarding the ceremony itself, your future life together as a married couple, or any other issue of concern. A pre-marital counseling session is provided free of charge if desired.

There are some beautiful Jewish Pre-wedding customs that are meant to enhance the marriage bond between the Bride and the Groom.

Separation:

It is customary in some Jewish communities for the Bride and Groom not to see each other for a period of time the length of which varies in different Jewish communities from one day up to a week. The reason for this is to allow the spirit to cleanse itself from any thoughts related to being a single person and begin to think like a married person.

Aufruf – Groom’s “Aliya” to the Torah:

On the Sabbath before the wedding the couple is honored in the synagogue as the Groom (sometimes together with the Bride) is called to the Torah and is honored with the recitation of theTorah blessings. He is the first honorees of the day, usually followed by six additional honorees. This ritual is performed to symbolize that the second major religious event in a Jewish person’s life cycle, following the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, is sanctioned by G-D,the Torah and the Jewish people.

Mikvah:

A day Before the wedding, the Bride immerses in a mikvah, which is a specially built ritual bath of running water. The reason for the emersion is to cleans oneself so that both soul and body are ready for a new begining as a married person. While usually only the Bride performs this ritual, in some orthodox communities both Brides and Grooms immerse in the ritual bath (separately of course…). It is indeed a highly spiritual custom which involves prescribed prayers and blessings of appreciation.

Fasting:

In orthodox Jewish communities, Brides and Grooms fast from sunset the night before the wedding to the first sip of the wine as part of the Jewish wedding ceremony under the Chuppah. This ritual too is meant to cleanse body and soul as Bride and Groom begin their new life together.

1. Ketuba signing and explanation
2. Bedeken – unveling the bride (or during processional)
3. The Processional to the ceremony
4. Circling the Groom
5. Wine blessings
6. A Jewish blessing of thanksgiving(“She-eh-che-yanu”)
7. Engagement blessings
8. Vows
9. Ring Exchange Ceremony 
10. Chanting the Ketubah (or part of it)
11. Sheva Brachot – Seven Blessings
12.  Priestly Blessing 
13. Breaking the glass
14. Recessional
15. “Yichud” (a few minutes of seclusion for the newlyweds immediately after the ceremony)

1. Ketuba signing and explanation
2. Bedeken
3. The Processional to the ceremony
4. Circling the Groom
5. Wine blessings
6. A Jewish blessing of thanksgiving(“She-eh-che-yanu”)
7. Engagement blessings
8. Vows
9. Covering the Bride and Groom with a Tallit (a prayer shawl)
10. Ring exchange ceremony
11. Chanting the Ketubah (or part of it)
12. Wedding’s seven blessings
13. Breaking the glass
14. “Yichud” (a few minutes of seclusion for the newlyweds immediately after the ceremony)

The Jewish ceremony itself is held under the Chuppah, a Hebrew word for “canopy”, which can be either stationary and supported by a semi permanent structure or a more traditional canopy held by four people. The traditional Chuppah is usually made of velvet or other material supported by four hand held poles. The word “Chuppa” is synonymous with the Jewish wedding itself. A traditional Jewish blessing of children is: “May you grow to stand under the Chuppah.” Since this kind of structure is open to all directions, it symbolizes both the hearts and the home of the bride and groom. The rabbi blesses the Bride and Groom saying that Just as the Chuppa is open to all directions, so shall the home and the hearts of the wedding couple shall be open to each other and to those in need.

Large Velvet Chuppah

 Tallit Chuppah Outside

Chuppah at House Wedding

Chuppah at a Yacht Club

Chuppah from Israel

The ceremony begins with a processional of the wedding party. There are several different variations for the the processional. Usually, the elders of the family walk first. Following them are the groomsmen, best man and the groom who is escorted by his mother and father. The bridesmaids continue the processional followed by the maid/matron of honor. Finally the bride, escorted by her mother and father approaches the Chuppah. As the bride and her parents approach, they stop a few feet before the Chuppah. The groom standing under the Chuppah leaves to greet his bride. He takes her by the hand and escorts her to the Chuppah. In the Jewish Tradition, the bride stands to the right side of her groom to symbolize full and equal partnership in the marriage. The bride then circles around the groom seven times merging their two souls together. 

The Kiddushin, Betrothal, is the first part of the ceremony. Both bride and groom are welcomed to the ceremony. The welcoming blessings are recited by the Rabbi followed by a blessing over the wine. The main part of the Kiddushin is the ring ceremony. Many times the ring exchange follows an exchange of vows between the bride and groom. Some couples write their own vows while others use vows available from different sources. Still others prefer to recite a poem or even observe a brief moment of silence. The bride’s ring must be acquired by the groom. According to Jewish law, the bride’s acceptance of the ring which the groom places on her left index finger, is the act of legally binding the agreement of the marriage. The placing of the ring on the index finger of the left hand, the closest hand to the heart, symbolizes that the bride agrees to the marriage with all her heart. The bride then places a ring on the left index finger of the groom. According to Jewish tradition, the ring should be plain and should have no precious stones of any kind. This represents a perfect circle with no beginning and no end. It reflects the endless love and commitment of the bride and groom to each other.

The second part of the Jewish ceremony is called Nisuin, Marriage. After a second cup of wine is poured, seven blessings are recited, in Hebrew,”Shevah Brachot”. They extol God’s wonderful creation of the universe and our world, they bless God for creating human beings in His image and for blessing our world with the kind of love and happiness experienced by brides and grooms. The last blessing talks about the time when the people of Israel will enjoy peace and prosperity which will spill over to the rest of the world. All mankind then will be able to truly enjoy the kind of happiness which is enjoyed by brides and grooms everywhere.

The Tallit is a prayer shawl. In some traditional weddings the bride and groom are wrapped by a single Tallit when the Rabbi blesses them with the priestly blessings. The Tallit represents the 613 commandments which are the pillar of the Jewish faith. Wrapping the couple with the Tallit is a symbolic act of protecting the bride and groom by covering them with the spiritual strength of Judaism.

The very last part of the wedding ceremony is the breaking of the glass by the groom. It symbolizes the breaking or ending of the newlyweds’ lives as single people and entering a new life as a married couple. For some, it is also an act of breaking any evil spirit or lingering negative energy that may try to untie the newly formed union of love between the newlyweds. A more traditional explanation is that the act of breaking a glass reminds us that a celebration of a wedding can never be complete as long as the Jewish Temple is not rebuilt in Jerusalem. A more modern twist to that explanation is that we can never be completely happy as long as there is strife and starvation in the world.

Reading the Ketubah:

A modern Ketubah is a spiritual agreement between the bride and groom denoting their love and commitment for each other. It is signed before the ceremony together with the bride and groom and two witnesses or separately if the bride and groom are not seeing each other. The Ketubah In a traditional Jewish wedding is presented to the congregation and read after or after  the ring ceremony. In some Jewish communities the entire content of the Ketubah is actually chanted in Aramaic and sometimes in Hebrew. Reading the Ketubah eliminates any doubt in anyone’s mind whether or not the Ketuba was properly signed by the bride and groom and their witnesses.

 

Ketubah in Hebrew & English

Signing the Ketubah

Examining the Ketubah

Signing the Ketubah

After the Signing of the Ketubah

 

The Bedeken Ceremony

In more orthodox circles, following the Ketubah singing, the Bedeken ceremony takes place. In this ceremony the groom unveils his bride and recites a short text from the Song of Songs. There are also two blessings recited by the groom as he unveils the bride. The bride may choose not to have this ceremony. She may wish to be unveiled by her groom at the beginning of the wedding ceremony itself as she approaches the Chuppah. This custom is reminiscent of the story of Jacob, the son of Isaac who thought he was marrying his beloved Rachel and did not bother to remove the bride’s veil. He ended up marrying Rachel’s sister, Leah.